Hello!
:D
This is Celine’s blog.
She apologises because she doesn’t update frequently. Hees.
music
Hello.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Hi y'all.
I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog at all seeing that I dont really update it often enough. Its been more than a year now. My life is so boring and monotonous. I hate to be stuck in this kind of mediocracy but I don't know if its in my personality to be so... lacklustre. I dont know, its just that I have never actually tried to make myself stand out, taking leadership positions or joining research or competitions. Never actually consciously making any plans for my future. Somehow I feel most of the time that everyone else has it going for them, and I am the only one stuck in a rut. Of course I have so much to be thankful for and I have to be stop being so inward looking all the time. Self pity, what for? Growing up, I should have found things I love doing, found my idenity and all, but I dont really think I have found anything. Asking myself who I am, what defines me, it just is so frustrating sometimes. I hate to be so wanting everytime. I'm turning 19 this year, omgosh. I havent grown up and matured. I'm not close to my family and dont have many friends. I am thankful that I do have a few close friends whom i know love me for who I am.
I'm having one of those moments again where I fear of being so alone and having such a bla life. From a christian point of view I know that God has plans for me, plans for a hope and future. But I am not sure I have surrendered myself completely at all. Well, I guess doubt makes faith all the more precious. Whats real scary as my cell leader once said, is how God can turn to me and say "I dont know you", because I have not had a relationship with God. Christianity is not a religion, that stung me a couple of times.
If I wasnt so caught up in trying to find a job or attachment, I would really love to try find myself a hobby, something I would really enjoy. Take some time to self reflect maybe? I would really love to learn cooking, drawing and doing some exercise someday. My present job really makes me fat. Welcome to working life, or rather, working in a office life.
Handwritten at.7:09 PM
Hello.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Hi y'all.
I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog at all seeing that I dont really update it often enough. Its been more than a year now. My life is so boring and monotonous. I hate to be stuck in this kind of mediocracy but I don't know if its in my personality to be so... lacklustre. I dont know, its just that I have never actually tried to make myself stand out, taking leadership positions or joining research or competitions. Never actually consciously making any plans for my future. Somehow I feel most of the time that everyone else has it going for them, and I am the only one stuck in a rut. Of course I have so much to be thankful for and I have to be stop being so inward looking all the time. Self pity, what for? Growing up, I should have found things I love doing, found my idenity and all, but I dont really think I have found anything. Asking myself who I am, what defines me, it just is so frustrating sometimes. I hate to be so wanting everytime. I'm turning 19 this year, omgosh. I havent grown up and matured. I'm not close to my family and dont have many friends. I am thankful that I do have a few close friends whom i know love me for who I am.
I'm having one of those moments again where I fear of being so alone and having such a bla life. From a christian point of view I know that God has plans for me, plans for a hope and future. But I am not sure I have surrendered myself completely at all. Well, I guess doubt makes faith all the more precious. Whats real scary as my cell leader once said, is how God can turn to me and say "I dont know you", because I have not had a relationship with God. Christianity is not a religion, that stung me a couple of times.
If I wasnt so caught up in trying to find a job or attachment, I would really love to try find myself a hobby, something I would really enjoy. Take some time to self reflect maybe? I would really love to learn cooking, drawing and doing some exercise someday. My present job really makes me fat. Welcome to working life, or rather, working in a office life.
